Baby Reds?

So recently, Kyle has been having a hard time with... well, it seems everything. He is rarely awake without being fussy, and when he isn't fussy, he wants to be held, or looking at something while you are standing, or what have you. Its tiring, but we have been working on getting him to sleep, lay down, and just BE "alone" while awake and "happy". So far, its starting to work alright, but I can't help but want to pick him up and snuggle him when he begins to cry... mostly because when he cries and we don't pick him up to rock him back to sleep, he won't sleep long, and the fussy-ness is worse. I do have a happy little guy, don't get me wrong, its just hard to see how happy he is, when I feel like he is just fussing all the time. :o(

Yesteday, I decided to try and give my little Punk formula. NOT a good idea... I don't think it was anyway. Little did I know that he wouldn't take his early evening nap (at 3 or 4) but would start to fuss EARLY (by 5) and would calm down enough from a car ride to GMC for volleyball (so excited to play again) and be so intrigued by the toddler room that he sat awake for 45 minutes just looking around, before deciding he was hungry again. Mind you, I fed him around 3:45 (formula, 2 oz) and again around 5/6 (breastmilk). So at 7:45 he was screaming again, and rooting. I knew he was hungry. I did deduct that it was most likely because he ate in shifts and didn't eat well the second time around... it was kinda like he was making up for the amount he may get while breastfeeding, since i don't know how much he gets, I assumed 2 oz of formula would suffice. Oh well. Anyway, so he finished eating around 8:20 and I handed him off to Jen Bennett for the rest of volleyball while he napped... but he started to get fussy again around 8:30 and didn't stop until after 11 last night. HOWEVER, he could have also been fussy because A.)He didn't really take a good nap after his early morning nap yesterday B.) He was basically awake from 1:30 until 11:30 last night, with only short little naps (10-30 mins) at a time. But I really think A combined with C.) Formula gave him a belly ache and he didn't know how to respond to being full and a little gassy, is what really did him in. SO, in conclusion, no formula unless I ABSOLUTELY have to give it to him. And I will give him a soy formula which has a special formula so its not gassy. Which we have a tester size of! I should have tried that to begin with...

Now that I got the baby stuff out of the way, I played volleyball last night for the first time in almost a year. I had a good time! Brandon played too, and just when we didn't think it was going to get any better, Steven showed up! He was our neighbor across the street at our old house, but he moved to Cali almost 8 months ago and he just got back! Brandon is so excited to have his buddy back! :o) Also, earlier last week (like Thursday) I made chili for Steven and Andrew. Andrew is Brandon's brother. It was the "award-winning" chili I made for the cook-off at the church. Its nice to be doing something besides baby-stuff, not that I don't enjoy being a mommy or anything like that, I just like to be able to know that not everything has to be baby-related! He is so cute and sweet, by the way. One last thing baby before I end this rant-filled blog, Jason, (my brother for those of you who don't know) came out into the living room and started talking to Kyle, Kyle immediately started to smile, but it wasn't a full smile, but it looked like he was trying! Go Uncle Jason, you are the first for Kyle to try and smile at besides mommy and daddy!

freak out much?

So, this week is Kyle's 3rd week of life. And boy has it been different from the first two. First of all, his whole first week we had visitors EVERYday and something to do non-stop it seemed. Secondly, the second week was a little different, we haven't been having visitors as often, but it seems as though every time I get him to sleep or calm down, someone comes and picks him up for the duration of his nap, or upsets him. And that brings me to this week. Which is like the second week only, his awake time basically consists of "SCREAMING MY (his) LUNGS OUT!" No matter what I do, or say, or how I try to help him, I can't. Last night, from 7:30 until 1 this morning, he screamed. I got him to sleep from 12-12:45, in his cradle no less, but then he immediately woke screaming. When I couldn't do anything to help him, I started crying, left the room, and let Brandon deal with it. If he hadn't been doing that all day, I wouldn't have been so overwhelmed, but at that point I had little sleep, little patience, and a lot of "i don't know!" He had been sleeping 4-6 hrs at a time through the night in his second week of life, but then all of the sudden he doesn't even seem to know HOW to sleep! Today, has been no different. He has also been nursing for 40-60 mins at a time! I don't know what to do about this anymore!

I am, seriously, at my wits end with what to do! It really makes me want to have him go on formula just so Brandon and I can take shifts for who wakes up when he gets "fussy"... Oh, something positive! We discovered yesterday that he LIKES GRASS! I put his little feet down on it to calm him this afternoon (as I did yesterday afternoon) and he loves it! but that only works for so long, and you know the weather, it only lasts for so long! SO, what to do then!? Suggestions would be greatly appreciated on this subject matter! I love my little guy so much, and not knowing what to do to make things better, makes me feel so incompetent as a mother. I cry with him now whenever he cries, and I feel like I need to constantly tell him I love him and that I'm sorry when he cries like this.
All in all, he has been a wonderful little guy this whole time, and I definitely love my life how it is and love that he is in it! I just wish everyday were an "easy-day". We are currently sitting outside, he is wide awake, listening to the birds, cars and wind... with a little bit of his "rock" lullaby mix playing, the Beatles, Bob Marley, Aerosmith, Queen, etc. This overwhelmed mommy is greatly appreciating this "break". God is so good.

While I have a moment...

Life has been so "crazy" lately! From the day Kyle was born, I feel like its been non-stop everything. The first week not one day went by when we didn't have someone come over to "visit". It was very tiring, but we did have wonderful volunteers to make us dinner three times last week, which was such a blessing. We have already gone out numerous times for short little trips or for dinner with the in-laws. Today is the first, official, do nothing day! It has been so refreshing, yet so tiring! Ok, so maybe TODAY isn't so tiring per se, but we did a lot of catching up on sleep, my little punk and I. He slept 6 hrs straight last night, and though he has been awake more than he usually had been, he has been taking nice 2-3 hr naps throughout the day. I've discovered that he doesn't like taking his vitamins (does anyone!?) but he does enjoy having it be washed down with water! He hated his first couple of baths, but now seems to enjoy them, at least they calm him down for the evening! He's such a great little guy, and I just love him so much! I'm trying to be a "brave" mom with taking him out, or letting people hold him, or letting someone else change his diaper, and so on, but on the inside I just want to take him home and not let anyone else near him but me and his Daddy!

The hospital was easy to let others care for him, they're qualified for goodness sakes! I did cry the night we took him to the nursery, and when he was circumsized. :o( But I just knew he would be in a little bit of pain when he came back to me! I happened to thoroughly enjoy having him in the nursery, because I could actually rest, but I still missed my little punk!

Anywho, just trying to update quickly before I have to go. Easter Sunday, we put Kyle in the cutest little sweater vest and put his hair in a faux hawk. He looked so cute! We also put his hair in a faux hawk for the family photos we took with Brandon's side of the family. Our little guy is such a wonderful blessing and I can't help but get teary eyed sometimes just looking at him! For ten months I called him "baby" and now I can hold him, kiss him, hug him, and call him by name! (Which has proven to be difficult because he is my little pumkin, shortened to punk, and his name rarely comes out of my mouth! I mean, its not going to be easy to go from "baby" to "Kyle" in the snap of your fingers!)

A couple of times yesterday during feeding time, he fell asleep. The first time I attempted to pull away so I could go about the day. He did NOT like that idea, but rather than cry, he opened his left eye (which he does often while the other stays shut) and rasied his eyebrows as if to say, "I'm still working on that..." The second time, the same thing happened, only he slightly lifted his head (while "I" was still in his mouth) and pointed a finger at me, this time as if to say, "Seriously!? You tried this earlier, I'm NOT done!"

I have little adult interaction throughout the day, I gotta have "conversation" somehow...!