So I know I posted in my last blog, months ago, that I would post pics of my kids. Well, I went through them yesterday and it took me many hours to figure out what to print, and what size to print it in. Its not unusual that it would take someone a really long time to choose, but I kept pausing to have mini prayer-conversations with God.
Wednesday morning my friend's husband passed away unexpectedly. He is my age and they were only married for a brief two years, but had two children, 6 and one. My heart aches everyday for Jen and her kids. I am in constant prayer for guidance, wisdom, peace, and comfort for each of them. I've begun to pray protection over Jen as well as her kids. Then it hit me as I'm looking at these pictures of my kids. I am praying spiritual protection over them, but not the same type of prayers I was praying for these other kids.
I closed out my window, and began to cry. I cried for Jen. I cried for her kids. I cried for mine. I cried because I can't change things, I can't make things better. I can't make things go away. I can't undo what's been done. How do you show love and support to someone going through such a loss? Especially when you can't relate.
I began to pray over each child protection from the enemy. The sins of our pasts, generational sins.
I cried out to God about the unfairness of it all. About my own anger toward the situation, and I stepped in for my dear friend. I praise God that I am so blessed to have the man I married in my life and the support we have. I praise God for the life Jen and Kyle were able to build together and the two beautiful children they created. I thank God for little moments they had and the memories Jen and the kids can cherish. I thank God for the opportunity to have met Kyle and enjoy his company. I praise God for placing in Jen a desire to know Him and to parent these kids. And I pray strength over her that she may face each situation with the strength the Lord will most certainly provide, even when she feels weak.
We have these two promises (and many many more!!) that "We can do all things through Christ who gives us strength" (Phil. 4:6) and that His "grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness... For when I am weak, then I am strong" (II Cor. 12:9).
Though we don't have the answers. The reason why Kyle was called home. Why now and not in his old age. Why God decided this was the time even though he has small kids who love him dearly. Or the fact that he has a beautiful loving wife who is one heck of a woman and a great mom would be widowed so young. I believe everything happens for a reason. And I believe God knows what He is doing, and He knows the why. The answers to it all. That He is in control. And that is reason enough to praise God!
Blurbs of songs floating in my head all week...
Carrie Underwood "See You Again."
Said goodbye, turned around
And you were gone, gone, gone
Faded into the setting sun,
Slipped away
But I won’t cry
Cause I know I’ll never be lonely
For you are the stars to me,
You are the light I follow
[Chorus:]
I will see you again, whoa
This is not where it ends
I will carry you with me, oh
'Til I see you again
Carrie Underwood "Just a dream"
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
Robin Mark "All is Well"
All my changes come from Him
He who never changes
I'm held firm in the grasp
Of the Rock of all the Ages
All is well, with my soul
He is God, in control
I know not, all His plans
But I know, I'm in His plans
And though our seasons change
I will exalt His name
Whatever is His way all is well
Laura Story "Blessings"
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not,
This is not our home
It's not our home
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
"His Eye is on the Sparrow"
Why should I feel discouraged?
Why should trials come?
Why should I feel lonely, long for Heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion,
A constant friend is He.
His eye is on the sparrow.
And I know He watches me.
