I recently read an article about loving your husband more than your children. Some people may think, "There's no way I could ever do that!" And some of the comments were even saying things like, "well if my husband was abusing my children, i'd leave in a heartbeat!" Ok guys, here's the deal. God intended you to be ONE with your SPOUSE. Some of you may look at that and think, "Technically, I'm ONE with my CHILDREN because they are a PART of me, and came from my BODY!" Which, yes that is true, but they are still a part of your husband too. You were just the ventilator. The heating lamp. They were the "parasite" so to speak.
Every marriage has their ups and downs. And growing higher than 50% is the divorce rate. People think that a measly piece of paper doesn't prove anything but a date in which the name of the wife changed. Easily fixed. What made you fall in love with the one you are with? (Or were with as the case may be). What drew you to that person? Most likely, it wasn't the children that you might have someday, and how you will allow them to be a bigger part of your hypothetical life with this person you have "chosen" to be the one. Sure, its something to look forward to! A beautiful creation of you and your love! But don't you want that little growing baby to be the example of your love, not your ACTUAL love?
Don't get me wrong, we need to love our children! But the love of a spouse is so different, and much deeper than the love of a child! One would hope! When you first have a baby everyone's life changes in that family! Less sleep, little to no "me time", and little time for you and your spouse. You need to make time! I understand this is NOT an easy task. I, for one, didn't and still don't, trust many people with my babies! No one could "raise" them or protect them or love them like me! Which is so true! And there are some who absolutely cannot take care of a child as well as mommy and daddy, but then there are some that God has blessed with a great gift to care for others children as their own.
Making the time alone for you and your spouse can be the greatest gift these kids ever receive! They know:
1.) Mommy and daddy love each other
2.) They can feel secure in their home and other relationships
3.) They'll have a great example of how to love and respect and honor their future spouse
4.) They'll see that mommy and daddy are first to each other, and that in order to have a working, well-functioning family, kiddos are at a close second.
Now, there may be times where the kids do come first! Sure, if your baby is sickly and just wants mommy or daddy to hold them. Maybe its worse than that, and your precious little one, God forbid, is laying on his or her deathbed. Of course all husband and wife are going to want to do is stay there to comfort their child! And understandably so! But that doesn't mean you still can't make time for each other, so remind each other of the love you have for one another.
And other exceptions, such as abuse! No one expects you to stay in that situation and allow the hurt to go on toward your children! If you can leave, safely, and possibly prove to a court that you are a fit parent and the other parent is not, in this particular situation, then good for you. And no, no one should "stay together for the kids" because they won't have that example they need, they won't feel secure, they won't feel loved. And the cycle almost always continues.
But even more than all of this, is God. If He is the center, you have already started a strong, firm foundation to raise a family and continue on your way to a long and happy marriage! And I promise you, it still takes work to keep the Lord at the very center of your marriage. You still need to show your spouse love, respect, honor, encouragement, support, protection etc. Cherish the one God has blessed you with, and entrusted you to encourage continually to grow in his or her walk with Him. Lord willing, they will be the one still sleeping in the bed right there next to you when you wake up one morning to find your home YOUR home again.
I am sad for that day, but can't wait to have my hubby all to myself again. Date nights coming easier. Less laundry. Less electricity used. *selfish* me time again! Longer showers, because there is more hot water or because you won't have that little one wanting to join and crying on the other side of the shower curtain because you won't let them in :o) Uninterrupted conversations... or intimate moments... there are so many things to look forward to AFTER the children leave, but only if you have continually allowed yourselves to put each other first and shown each other that you are the apple of the other's eye. The one you are still chasing and romancing.
Will your loved one still be around after the kids are long gone?
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